This article was originally meant to help consumers deal with cable companies and get better promotions etc. so atleast you can learn a few tips there.
But does his experience in negotiation, and his reasonings give the cold caller any help, you be the judge.
- smile when you talk, and slow down the voice, pace slowly and calmly giving an impression of solidarity, confidence
- say "I am sorry", I know you guys are gonna jump on this one, but his reasoning comes from behavioral science studies done at Harvard,
When the first thing you say to someone is “I’m sorry”, they think, “What in the world is going on with this person that’s causing them to say I’m sorry? I’ve got to take a look at this guy or gal.” In a very non-threatening way, you have forced them to take a look at you to figure out what’s going on.
It’s amazingly disarming. They know that they haven’t spoken to you at all so they’re amazed that you’re showing them that much respect to start off with. There’s great power in deference. A lot of people want to dominate a conversation, control a conversation and they forget about how much it causes your counterpart to raise their guard. When you’re very deferential, the other side has a tendency to drop their guard and they feel powerful because you’ve empowered them. What they don’t understand is that you’re the source of that power and if you can empower them you can also take it away. So it puts you in a tremendous position of advantage. You’ve already initiated the negotiation and the other side has no idea that you’re already working on them to get them to drop their guard.
- say "this may sound harsh" - it holds people’s attention and whatever comes afterward is a relief.
Whatever we think of that horrifies us seems huge and having braced ourselves for something terrible and horrifying whatever comes next is always less than what we expected. We feel relieved and it seems easy in comparison.
So you said you were sorry, and warned them that the next thing was going to sound harsh. You have their attention and they’re wondering what is going to come next… So what comes next?
-turn the call into an appreciation call
Their shields are up. How do we bring them down? It’s called “forced empathy.” Here’s Chris:
“Forced empathy” is an incredibly strategic way to make them see your point of view without them knowing that it’s being forced on them. In a recent post on your blog, Daniel Pink was talking about how important autonomy is to people’s motivation. The minute you start trying to force something on someone you’re taking away their autonomy and they’re getting their guard up.
The last thing they expect you to do is appreciate what their company has done for you. Because customer service, by definition, is there to field complaints. They don’t field appreciation calls. So start off by saying, “Your company provides phenomenal service. I’m getting a great bargain and I’m a little embarrassed that I’m calling in and asking for a better deal because what your company is providing is worth every single dime that you’re charging me.”
note: don't ever put down their insurance company aka their choice/decision, maybe this last tip can be formatted for the insurance agent
- a focused question with an open ended question
You lay out the empathy and then you lay out the reality and then you hit them with a “how” question. That’s a forced focus comparison. Here’s x and y — how do these two things lineup? Again, that’s why you need to say it with the late night FBI DJ voice. It’s got to be very gentle. It’s got to be very deferential so they don’t feel backed into a corner.
Now if you are wanting to pick up the tip of negotiating with cable companies, here it is,
He called in and he went on and on and on about how good the service was and then he said, “I’ve been a loyal customer and I’ve always paid my bill on time and then I find out that with the great value that I’m getting and the tremendous amount of loyalty that I’ve been providing that you guys are offering better deals to people who have never paid you a dime and never been a loyal customer.” He said, “How am I supposed to live with that?” The next thing he heard was the sound of crickets. Because the person on the other end of the line had no answer, it was just dead silence.
And that silence is key. Effective pauses are a key tool of FBI hostage negotiation.
Now these tips I feel can be used for sales or cold calling, maybe not all of them, but I feel the reasoning behind them are good, what do you think?
Also the article has a ton of links to other good articles.
The FBI
But does his experience in negotiation, and his reasonings give the cold caller any help, you be the judge.
- smile when you talk, and slow down the voice, pace slowly and calmly giving an impression of solidarity, confidence
- say "I am sorry", I know you guys are gonna jump on this one, but his reasoning comes from behavioral science studies done at Harvard,
When the first thing you say to someone is “I’m sorry”, they think, “What in the world is going on with this person that’s causing them to say I’m sorry? I’ve got to take a look at this guy or gal.” In a very non-threatening way, you have forced them to take a look at you to figure out what’s going on.
It’s amazingly disarming. They know that they haven’t spoken to you at all so they’re amazed that you’re showing them that much respect to start off with. There’s great power in deference. A lot of people want to dominate a conversation, control a conversation and they forget about how much it causes your counterpart to raise their guard. When you’re very deferential, the other side has a tendency to drop their guard and they feel powerful because you’ve empowered them. What they don’t understand is that you’re the source of that power and if you can empower them you can also take it away. So it puts you in a tremendous position of advantage. You’ve already initiated the negotiation and the other side has no idea that you’re already working on them to get them to drop their guard.
- say "this may sound harsh" - it holds people’s attention and whatever comes afterward is a relief.
Whatever we think of that horrifies us seems huge and having braced ourselves for something terrible and horrifying whatever comes next is always less than what we expected. We feel relieved and it seems easy in comparison.
So you said you were sorry, and warned them that the next thing was going to sound harsh. You have their attention and they’re wondering what is going to come next… So what comes next?
-turn the call into an appreciation call
Their shields are up. How do we bring them down? It’s called “forced empathy.” Here’s Chris:
“Forced empathy” is an incredibly strategic way to make them see your point of view without them knowing that it’s being forced on them. In a recent post on your blog, Daniel Pink was talking about how important autonomy is to people’s motivation. The minute you start trying to force something on someone you’re taking away their autonomy and they’re getting their guard up.
The last thing they expect you to do is appreciate what their company has done for you. Because customer service, by definition, is there to field complaints. They don’t field appreciation calls. So start off by saying, “Your company provides phenomenal service. I’m getting a great bargain and I’m a little embarrassed that I’m calling in and asking for a better deal because what your company is providing is worth every single dime that you’re charging me.”
note: don't ever put down their insurance company aka their choice/decision, maybe this last tip can be formatted for the insurance agent
- a focused question with an open ended question
You lay out the empathy and then you lay out the reality and then you hit them with a “how” question. That’s a forced focus comparison. Here’s x and y — how do these two things lineup? Again, that’s why you need to say it with the late night FBI DJ voice. It’s got to be very gentle. It’s got to be very deferential so they don’t feel backed into a corner.
Now if you are wanting to pick up the tip of negotiating with cable companies, here it is,
He called in and he went on and on and on about how good the service was and then he said, “I’ve been a loyal customer and I’ve always paid my bill on time and then I find out that with the great value that I’m getting and the tremendous amount of loyalty that I’ve been providing that you guys are offering better deals to people who have never paid you a dime and never been a loyal customer.” He said, “How am I supposed to live with that?” The next thing he heard was the sound of crickets. Because the person on the other end of the line had no answer, it was just dead silence.
And that silence is key. Effective pauses are a key tool of FBI hostage negotiation.
Now these tips I feel can be used for sales or cold calling, maybe not all of them, but I feel the reasoning behind them are good, what do you think?
Also the article has a ton of links to other good articles.
The FBI