Final Expense Funny Happenings

[Joe Moore]

Next time I get real hungry you're gonna have to
send me a list of your Slovic clients. Any Ukrainian ones?

As far as I know, there are not really many Slovic or Ukrainian clients available in Tennessee or surrounding states. Mainly just Hillbilly's, most of which are serious rednecks and/or former moonshiners.

Reminds me of another final expense story with one of the above:

Another agent and I have an appointment at a home about 500 feet off a gravel road, where we had to "ford the creek" and are welcomed by three very loud singing hound dogs from about a 300 foot distance. The man in overalls about 6'6", and at most weighing 160 lbs opens the screen door and standing on the front porch (in Tennessee almost all older rural homes have front porches), starts telling the dogs to be quiet (and not bite or attack us). In East TN when the dogs are called off, you feel pretty much welcome.

We were working out of funeral home and had been previously warned of a lot of the above before we went, and had been told that this man had done about 3 years in the pokey for "moonshining". But, he was one of the best "Moonshiners" in the county. So, the setting was about what we expected.

We sucessfully closed our insurance appointment, and the man asks, "You boys ever drunk any moonshine?". Both of us said yes, but it had been a long time. "Would you boys like some?" We asked him how much and it was like we had insulted him, he informed us fast that he gave it away to people he liked.

He told us to sit still and he would return "in a few minutes". We sat in his living room about 15 minutes and he returned with 2 very cold, clear-as-water quarts. We thanked him, left and decided his stash was stored in his creek. He liked us, but not enough to let us see where he had it hid.

Darn moonshine was soooo smooooth you almost didn't have to mix it with anything. But, it would knock you on your a**. My wife warned me that moonshine had killed many people, but I told her not to worry, my life insurance was paid and we knew this was from a quality shine maker, with a "great reputation".

Only in East Tennessee, back in the good old days.

 

[xrac]

InsuranceNewsNet Magazine publishes a cartoon in their magazine each month called Off-The-Wall Sales Stories. Here is a good one:

InsuranceNewsNet Magazine Online Issue // February 2009

I also think that some of the stories in this link would warrant publication.

 

[Newby]

I had a lady call in once to cancel her Med Sup appt. She said she was afraid I was going to get her in there and
"Hoo-Doo" her.

I said "what does Hoo-Doo mean?" And she told me she
was afraid I was going to get her in there and raise
her price up.

I guess she thinks the price can't change unless I
sneak up on her and put the "Hoo-Doo" on her.

 

[SportsNut]

I had a lady call in once to cancel her Med Sup appt. She said she was afraid I was going to get her in there and
"Hoo-Doo" her.

I said "what does Hoo-Doo mean?" And she told me she
was afraid I was going to get her in there and raise
her price up.

I guess she thinks the price can't change unless I
sneak up on her and put the "Hoo-Doo" on her.

You old Hoo-Doo'er, you. She had you pegged from the get go.

I had an appt probably almost 30yrs ago... and this old gal was spunky... and I mean that in a good way. She more or less "held court", when having a conversation. There were certain manners of speach and mis-pronunciations that were her own... and I got such a kick out of some of them, I still use them today, on occasion. Funny how you can think back to that moment, that appt, and remember it like it happened just this week. Others, no recall whatsoever. But this one was memorable... because she was so spirited...

She didn't seem to be concerned about me Hoo-Dooing her at all... but if she were, she would have had an equally interesting way of verbalizing that one too.

 

[Newby]

There was the one with the dog with explosive dirreaha.

There have been several where older women want to show me nude pictures of themselves when they were younger...no thanks!

The stinky house (I know what you're thinking but I mean REALLY STINKY house.)

The 400lb man in a wheelchair dressed as a woman and on oxygen but smoking cigarettes...who though he needed to explain to me that he was really a man...duh!

The lady who seemed normal through the whole appointment until she stated asking me about how many people come back to life after we get them to the funeral home and she knew all about it but didn't know how often it happens.

The woman (Mrs. Simpson) who said I want to ask you about something before we get started and pulled out a letter from the business I was representing at that time and it was addressed to "Old Bag Simpson." Made me uncomfortable to say the least.

I have hundreds of memorial appointments.

 

[simpsonian]

I fellow agent and I went to an FE last month. The lady had already tld my friend that shee needed him to "check her plumbing for", and I don't mean her house plumbing. After that coment he fely useasy about going so I went with him. We pull up to the typical FE appointment house. Cars on blocks, vines growing all over the house. We have step over 3 weeks of rotten cat food to get thr0ugh the door. She opens the door and has hundreds of what looked to be misquoto bites on each of her arms. The bites were bleeding becasue she had been scratching them. Once we were in the house it was unbelievable. She had news papers on the floor lined troughout the house. Two dogs went to potty anywhere they wanted to but she did not pick the papers up very often. She is this slighty overweight and had not bathed in a while. She wore tight shorts, a tight tee shirt and NO BRA. We went to her table and moved the place mats out of the way, (which we found out later was where one of the dogs sleeps).
As I am setting at her table taking an application, she is two feet away from me with a dog in her lap picking off its fleas and flicking them on me. I cant get word in edgwise because she will not shut up. My buddy jumps up and runs out of the house like he is on fire. He said later that he went out to vomit because while inside something flew into his mouth and he just knew it was one of those fleas she was picking off the dog.
Anyway, back to the application. It was a Foresters Application and as we are doing the phone interview she was asked if she used a wheel chair. Instaed of answering yes or no to the questions, (like I told her to), she goes on about having a wheel chair for a long time and used it some. They rate her modified, and all she uses a wheel chair for is to put her dog food on, not wheel herself around in it. I call Foresters to get that corected and two weeks later she calls us back and says she can't afford the $23 monthly premium and we lose the case.

God I Love my JOB!

 

[Newby]

I fellow agent and I went to an FE last month. The lady had already tld my friend that shee needed him to "check her plumbing for", and I don't mean her house plumbing. After that coment he fely useasy about going so I went with him. We pull up to the typical FE appointment house. Cars on blocks, vines growing all over the house. We have step over 3 weeks of rotten cat food to get thr0ugh the door. She opens the door and has hundreds of what looked to be misquoto bites on each of her arms. The bites were bleeding becasue she had been scratching them. Once we were in the house it was unbelievable. She had news papers on the floor lined troughout the house. Two dogs went to potty anywhere they wanted to but she did not pick the papers up very often. She is this slighty overweight and had not bathed in a while. She wore tight shorts, a tight tee shirt and NO BRA. We went to her table and moved the place mats out of the way, (which we found out later was where one of the dogs sleeps).
As I am setting at her table taking an application, she is two feet away from me with a dog in her lap picking off its fleas and flicking them on me. I cant get word in edgwise because she will not shut up. My buddy jumps up and runs out of the house like he is on fire. He said later that he went out to vomit because while inside something flew into his mouth and he just knew it was one of those fleas she was picking off the dog.
Anyway, back to the application. It was a Foresters Application and as we are doing the phone interview she was asked if she used a wheel chair. Instaed of answering yes or no to the questions, (like I told her to), she goes on about having a wheel chair for a long time and used it some. They rate her modified, and all she uses a wheel chair for is to put her dog food on, not wheel herself around in it. I call Foresters to get that corected and two weeks later she calls us back and says she can't afford the $23 monthly premium and we lose the case.

God I Love my JOB!

That's just another Sunday visit at my aunt's house. You didn't even stay a while and eat ice cream?

 

[germanwine1]

Maybe I should invest in that Streetwise Mini Stun Gun. It too can be yours for only 74.97 purchase online at BestStunGun.Com

"If this business were easy everybody would do it"

 

[shauny2k3]

I explained what we were there for and the man in the house comes out and shows the neighbor that he had a pistol ready for us.

That's exactly why I have a concealed firearm permit.

 

[Insuranceman]

I just had an appointment a few weeks ago with a guy who thought he was an enlightened being.